


Written In The Stars

by jjokkomi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, High School, M/M, Mentioned at some point, Minor Bae Joohyun/Kang Seulgi, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun, Minor Park Sooyoung | Joy/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:57:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23701840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjokkomi/pseuds/jjokkomi
Summary: Everyone has a soulmate. It's written in the stars.Fate.Kyungsoo thinks it's just bullshit.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 140
Kudos: 422





	1. I

Kyungsoo is born on a Tuesday, in the early morning hours where there’s virtually no one else awake unless they absolutely need to be. Maybe it’s why he hates early mornings so much, but who is to say. It’s snowing heavily outside, still in the coldest part of winter and doesn’t stop the whole day.

He’s small but that’s to be expected, his mom isn’t exactly tall, and neither is his dad. He’s perfectly healthy and two days later he gets to go home. Two days later, his soul mark appears on the inner part of his wrist, faint at first and as he grows it grows darker. 

Soulmates are something no one completely understands, but they exist. You and your soulmate each have a soul mark that matches, usually somewhere visible but not always. It’s always the exact same although people report different coloring, complimenting their other half. Everyone has one and no one can explain how they pop up, but they do. Sometimes they even change and fade but it’s always there.

For Kyungsoo his black dots formed to make his astrological sign, connected by thin black lines and occasionally a flower will bloom from it. It rests on the inner part of his wrist and when the flowers bloom, a splash of color fills them. Kyungsoo thinks its pretty, always keeping it in view even in the winter months despite how cold it is.

It’s been there forever, first just dots but then they started to connect and when Kyungsoo turns ten the first flower blooms. They branch along the lines connecting the little black dots, wrapping and flowing naturally. Sometimes the flowers would be pink, other times blue, on occasion yellows. Kyungsoo’s favorite is when they’re red.

It’s a pretty reminder that somewhere out there, Kyungsoo has a soulmate. His other half, someone that is completely and utterly just for _him_. The thought makes him happy, knowing that one day, he’ll meet someone that just understand him without a million questions. Someone he can completely rely on. His parents make it sound so dreamy, that he can’t help but think of it as something he knows will be worth it.

So, no matter how hard things get, he can just look at his wrist and be reminded that things will be fine. Even if they can’t afford to buy his favorite cereal at the store one week, or he has to stay home alone with Seungsoo for hours and hours on end, he can just look down and know one day, things will be okay. Despite all the hard stuff, eventually things will work out. He’ll be fine.

It works, until it doesn’t.

A little after Kyungsoo turns thirteen his parents die. It’s a car wreck involving an eighteen-wheeler and several other cars. They’re gone before anyone knows it. The doctors tell him and his brother they most likely died on impact, that they apparently wouldn’t have felt any pain. It’s supposed to make them feel better but being told both your parents are _dead_ isn’t something you can lessen. His soul mark loses all its flowers that day.

Seungsoo becomes his legal guardian at the age of seventeen, something probably no teenager wants but he does his best. They end up getting a good amount of money from the settlement against the eighteen-wheeler’s driver, who fell asleep at the wheel. It’s enough but it’s not forever, so Seungsoo finds them a small apartment cheaper than the mortgage their parents left behind. They can’t continue to live comfortably if all their money goes towards a house too big for two people.

He looks at his wrist once during the funeral and finds himself feeling empty. He doesn’t look at it once during the move. 

Kyungsoo hates leaving his room, leaving behind where he last saw his parents, where he was last _happy_, but knows his brother is only doing what he can. So, they move into a two-bedroom apartment that has more wrong with it than good but Seungsoo _tries_, so that’s enough for Kyungsoo. He tries his best too, making sure not to slack as he prepares for high school and even more so when Seungsoo gets a job so he can afford the local community college.

Kyungsoo stops thinking things will get easier, dealing with one thing at a time and not relying on some stupid mark on his wrist that does nothing. His soulmate isn’t going to just suddenly fix the air con that never wants to work properly in the summer. His soulmate isn’t going to magically appear with help with the rent or the gas or the water. Soulmates aren’t anything but a person he’s not guaranteed to even meet. _Useless_.

Seungsoo works really hard for the both of them and it pays off after three years of hard work. When Kyungsoo turns sixteen Seungsoo gets his first _real_ job, that includes a salary and benefits. Enough that they get to move somewhere nicer and thanks to his job, Kyungsoo gets enrolled in private school for his last two years of high school, so at least he has a better chance at getting into a good university. Hopefully on scholarships.

The apartment isn’t massive but compared to what they used to live in, it’s nice. Kyungsoo gets his own bedroom and restroom that isn’t designed for someone that’s only two feet tall like their last one. He can actually move around in it and he’s happy even though he doesn’t want to start over at a new school. Seungsoo is doing everything for him, so he sucks it up.

Soulmates are just a thing that exist to him by then. Despite knowing there’s someone out there supposed to be meant for him, it doesn’t make him happy. It doesn’t change the things he goes through. It doesn’t bring his parents back.

So, he doesn’t care anymore. Why should he care about someone who he may not even meet? Their existence hasn’t done anything to make his life any better. So, it’s something Kyungsoo doesn’t wear on his sleeve anymore. He hides it. Besides, the flowers haven’t bloomed since his parents died. If he wanted to look at his zodiac sign, he could google it.

\--

His first day of classes starts off like it normally does. He gets up and makes a pot of coffee and breakfast, Seungsoo grabbing both on the way out the door and then Kyungsoo is left to clean up and finish getting ready for the day. Kyungsoo doesn’t really like the uniforms for his new school but he has no room to complain about it. It’s not like he’s the one that paid for it.

He rides the city bus, standing in the very back and getting off at the right stop. He’s already taken the route twice to make sure he doesn’t end up lost as a precaution earlier in the month. So, he isn’t worried, knowing that he’ll make it to his classes on time. Even if he’s cutting it a little close, the only other option is to get there a whole hour early. The building isn’t even open that early, so he doesn’t just yet.

He manages to get to school with about fifteen or so minutes to spare, meaning everyone is already pilled into his homeroom where he’ll be for the next year. He walks in and quickly scans the room for an empty seat and finds one in the very back corner on the left side of the room. He’ll have to wear his glasses to see but that doesn’t bother him.

He sets his backpack down on the floor and takes out his notebook and a pencil, opening up the desk and ignoring the way the girls in the front of the classroom are suddenly loud. He goes about cleaning out of the dust from the desk before closing it and looking up when he realizes there’s someone standing near him.

Kyungsoo looks up when the guy clears his throat, noting that his uniform is a little messily put on, his hair looks like it was purposefully made to look unkept and that from the expensive looking watch on his wrist, he’s probably well off. Although it’s not saying much because this school is _expensive_ and Seungsoo was really able to get him because the principal is the wife of his new boss.

The boy’s tall, at least taller than him just from what he can tell, and he’s got a holier than thou aura to him that immediately makes Kyungsoo realize that this is probably one of the _popular_ kids. The way the entire classroom is looking at the two of them, just proves that. It’s at least comforting to know that the popular kids are the same, mostly just better looking and wearing more expensive things compared to his previous public-school classmates.

“You’re in my seat,” the other male, _Kim_ _Jongin_, from what his name tag reads directs at him.

Kyungsoo frowns, eyeing the other male and trying not to roll his eyes when he spots someone behind him. The stereotypical lacky most likely.

“It’s the first day of class,” he replies easily, watching as Jongin gives him a mildly surprised look before he laughs a little bit.

“You’re new, so I’ll fill you in. I _always_ sit in the back corner. _This_ is the back corner, so you’re in my seat,” Jongin reiterates, looking expectant like he’s actually _supposed_ to move. Maybe he is, since everyone else is now staring at the two of them like this is scandalous.

Kyungsoo knows it would be easier just to get up and move to avoid any sort of trouble. He isn’t really in any sort of position to be getting in trouble, since Seungsoo got him in here through connections, not because he’s well off like majority of his classmates. One wrong incident and whose to say he won’t get kicked out.

Kyungsoo getting in trouble on the first day would most likely cause Seungsoo to stress out too. So, it would just be easier to move, but something his father managed to teach him before his untimely passing is to never let anyone push you around. Kyungsoo is used to getting picked on, being smaller in stature compared to his male classmates. His dad was always trying to get him to stand up for himself, but he never could.

Kyungsoo decided after his father died, he wouldn’t let anyone push him around anymore, knowing there wasn’t going to be anyone there to pick him up anymore. Seungsoo is just his brother, he’s not his dad. He can’t fight all his battles for him.

“There’s another corner over there,” he replies slowly, pointing to his right where on the other side of the classroom there’s an empty chair.

He doesn’t see _why_ Jongin thinks that he has to sit where he’s currently occupied, other than being spoiled and used to getting what he wants easily. Kyungsoo thinks its time for a wakeup call, knowing he is _not_ going to be dealing with this for the next year and he’s going to make that very clear.

“I like _this_ corner, so hurry up and move out of _my_ seat,” Jongin replies sternly, starting to look like he’s losing his patience so Kyungsoo forces himself not just cuss him out, attempting to at least remain polite.

“Look, _Jongin_, I’m new, not stupid. I get that you may have the impression that you can just tell the new kid what to do and I’ll do it, but you’re _wrong_. I think you should start lowering your expectations on getting what you want from the new kid. Welcome to the real world, where no one gives a shit about what you want, especially not me,” he replies easily before he turns to the front of the classroom.

The boy in front of him starts laughing uncontrollably, the rest of the class irrupting in chatter amongst themselves. Majority of them look shocked, some of them are laughing or at least attempting not to, the guy next to Jongin looks nervous. Apparently, _no one just talks to Kim Jongin like that_, says one girl in the front of the class but Kyungsoo ignores it.

“Go to your new corner, Jongin,” the male in front of him laughs off, making a shooing motion which makes the girl he’s sitting next to snort before she turns around.

“Fuck off Oh,” Jongin replies sternly, giving the boy a nasty glare before he directs it towards him. “Wrong move _new kid_.”

Kyungsoo watches as Jongin walks off, his friend giving him a pitying look before following after him. They both sit in the other corner of the classroom, Jongin not looking happy but Kyungsoo doubts it will ruin his entire year. He turns back around and nearly flinches when the boy in front of him holds his hand out.

“Sehun,” the boy explains messing with his name tag a little, so Kyungsoo nods and shakes his hand a little awkwardly, bowing to the girl who waves. He squints to read her name tag and makes a mental note. Kang Seulgi.

“So Kyungsoo, did you just wake up today and decide to piss off the most popular guy at your new school, or was that a spur of the moment thing?” Sehun questions seriously, Seulgi laughing a little bit before turning towards him.

“Spur of the moment I guess,” he replies with a shrug, unable to say anything else as their homeroom teacher comes in to take attendance.

He does manage to look over at Jongin once during that time though, making eye contact before Jongin glares at him. It doesn’t matter though. Kyungsoo isn’t here to be friends with the popular kids. He’s here to get good grades and hopefully get himself into a college. That’s it.

\--

The rest of the afternoon goes as any first day goes and Kyungsoo ignores the occasional sneer Kim Jongin sends him, paying attention to their teachers and making sure he doesn’t slack off. By the time lunch rolls around Kim Jongin looks like he wants to punch him but is probably smart enough to realize he can’t do it without getting in trouble. He leaves the classroom for lunch along with his friend, not sparing him another glance.

“So Kyungsoo, wanna eat lunch with us?” Seulgi questions, grabbing her expensive looking bag and giving him an expectant look.

“We can give you the tour,” Sehun adds, grabbing his own sack lunch and beckoning him up.

Kyungsoo nods his head and gets out of his seat, grabbing his own lunch before following them out of the room. Kyungsoo knew Sehun was tall but he underestimated by how much, frowning as the other male slings an arm around his shoulders as they walk through the halls. Seulgi and Sehun point out classrooms and teachers, the occasional student they have something to say about.

They skip the lunchroom because apparently only the _losers_ eat in the cafeteria before they make it outside. There’s some picnic tables that are occupied by several groups of boys and girls, Kyungsoo spotting Kim Jongin along with a bunch of other kids. They walk in the complete opposite direction towards what looks like a soccer field, benches included.

There’s a small group of people already sitting on the bottom couple of rows in the bleachers, Seulgi rushing ahead of them and calling out for a girl named Sooyoung. Kyungsoo slowly walks up the steps and feels a little out of place when the other people spot him and start giving him curious looks.

“This is Kyungsoo, he’s new,” Sehun introduces, causing him to wave and awkwardly bow before moving to sit down.

“You brought Kim Jongin’s new target?” one of them questions, looking ecstatic over it.

Kyungsoo reads his name tag before opening up his lunch, taking out his food and looking around in confusion when he gets more scandalized looks. His name is Byun Baekhyun, who has a can of cola in his hands and is sitting next to someone named Kim Jongdae who has a carton of milk.

“News travels that fast here?” he questions skeptically, biting his lip before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

“It’s not a really big school,” the girl next to Seulgi, Sooyoung, explains.

“There’s also a school blog, students only access. Senior Kim Taeyeon is in charge of it now. It’s how we keep up with all the drama. Posts can be anonymous,” the girl next to Sooyoung says, introducing herself as Seungwan.

“I heard that you told him to fuck off,” Baekhyun rushes out, looking way too excited that Kyungsoo really wonders how small the school actually is. “Was his face priceless? Sehun why didn’t you film it?” he pesters loudly, hitting Sehun on the arm.

“He didn’t tell him to fuck off, but he might as well have,” Sehun replies to Baekhyun, the other male turning to him and smiling.

“I really didn’t, I just told him I wasn’t moving from my spot,” he replies with a shrug, not seeing what the big deal is, so he says so. “I don’t see what the big deal is.”

Baekhyun gasps dramatically before leaning onto Sehun again, actually holding onto his arm and being a little too affectionate that Kyungsoo starts to suspect they’re dating. He can’t spot a soul mark though, so he can’t be too sure.

“Kim Jongin is easily one of the richest kids here. He’s been calling the shots since like, kindergarten for some of us. It only got worse once he hit puberty and everyone started crushing on him. He’s hot shit and he knows it,” Sehun replies easily before wincing when Baekhyun pinches him. “Objectively, he’s got the personality of a pile of dirty socks though.”

“Interesting comparison,” Jongdae mutters before taking a sip of his drink.

“Sehunnie and him used to be friends,” Seulgi informs him before she takes a sip of the bubble tea Sooyoung has given her. “Back when Jongin wasn’t an asshole, we were all friends,” she adds on before clearing her throat.

“He wasn’t bad to be around until like, just before high school,” Sehun replies before shaking his head. “Either way, he’ll be taking anything that pisses him off out on you now.”

Kyungsoo frowns as he chews on his carrot sticks, looking around at the group of people and getting several nods and pitying looks.

“Are you serious?” he questions hesitantly, knowing he probably ruined Jongin’s day but he doesn’t get why not getting the seat he wants is enough to terrorize him the rest of the year.

“Unfortunately. It’s a small school and Kim Jongin has been known to hold a grudge,” Baekhyun explains, taking another sip of his cola before stealing from Sehun’s lunch.

“You’ll be fine though,” Seulgi interrupts, offering him a friendly smile before taking something out of her bag. Kyungsoo isn’t surprised that she has an expensive looking smart phone that she hands over to him. “Put in your number and I’ll add you to our group chat.”

Kyungsoo bites his lip as he looks at the phone, typing in his number and hoping it’s okay with Seungsoo. He knows the elder has a family plan for both of them but it’s the cheapest one. As it is, he has the elder’s old phone that isn’t exactly meant for him to be chatting with people all day. He’ll have to double check with him when he gets home.

He hands the phone back and gets a smile from Seulgi before she goes about doing whatever. He goes about eating his lunch and listening to them all converse about how their summer went. Majority were apparently abroad the entire time, in places Kyungsoo can’t even dream about visiting but he doesn’t say that out loud. The longer he can avoid talking about his family, the better.

“So, where is it?” Baekhyun suddenly questions as they’re walking along the track, because their lunch is a complete hour and they have time to kill.

Kyungsoo frowns before recognizing that curious glint in the elder’s eyes. It’s only natural for people to be curious, because majority are still out there looking for someone with an identical mark to theirs. It’s like a ridiculous game of go fish and Kyungsoo got over the curiosity a long time ago.

He suppresses the urge to roll his eyes as he undoes the button to his sleeves and rolls it up a bit to show off the mark. Baekhyun immediately grabs his arm and examines it carefully, looking a little too excited over some dots and lines.

“Capricornus,” Baekhyun comments easily, surprising him somewhat that he actually knows the actual constellation name. “You’re a Capricorn? Or your soulmate is a Capricorn!”

“I’m a Capricorn,” he replies easily, having to know that sort of thing when you have a stupid constellation on your wrist. “I don’t know who they are,” he adds on with a shrug, fixing his shirt sleeve.

“It’s so pretty though, me and Sehunnie got something boring,” Baekhyun comments, pulling at his shirt a little and exposing his collar bone which shows a cloud with a light blue hue and a paper airplane a little below it. “It flies sometimes, well at least, it’s moves around.”

Kyungsoo nods his head, rubbing his wrist a little before clearing his throat. “It used to have flowers, they died off I think,” he shares with a shrug, watching as Baekhyun’s smile drops a little.

“Oh, that’s sad.”

“I guess,” he replies with another shrug. “Doesn’t really matter to me,” he adds on before he moves to start walking again.

Baekhyun doesn’t reply, completely changing the subject and walking along with him. Kyungsoo listens attentively, unable to stop himself from noticing how every now and then Sehun will turn around from up ahead of them and catch Baekhyun’s eye before turning back around. It sort of annoys him, but he doesn’t say it.

They head back towards the school when they hear their five-minute warning bell. Kyungsoo decides to use the restroom before heading back to the classroom, finding the closest one and walking in. Of course, he ends up walking in on Kim Jongin and his friends, smoking with the window cracked open.

He pauses in the door frame, a boy he doesn’t recognize spotting him first. Kyungsoo thinks to turn around and just go to a different restroom, but that would just make him seem like a wimp, which is not what you want potential bullies to think of you. That and they already spotted him, except Jongin who has his eyes closed and head resting against the wall.

“First years have to piss outside,” one of them finally speaks up, earning a snort from the other boy in his class, Kim Wonsik.

“He’s in our year,” Wonsik explains, making the other male squint at him in confusion. Kyungsoo can make out his name tag as he comes closer. Lee Taemin.

Kyungsoo maneuvers around him and goes towards a stall, ignoring how Kim Jongin has his eyes open by then and is finally taking notice of him. He locks the stall before turning around and taking care of his business, trying his best to ignore the other four males.

“He stole Jongin’s seat,” he hears Wonsik explain, making his eye twitch in annoyance.

“Him? Jongin, he’s a _shrimp_,” Taemin laughs out loudly.

Kyungsoo sighs as he flushes the toilet, taking a deep breath as he moves to unlock the door and regretting it because the smell of smoke is still prominent. He walks out and over towards the sink, ignoring the way Lee Taemin walks up to him. He finishes washing his hands and moves to go grab a paper towel but is immediately stopped by Taemin.

Kyungsoo feels his nose scrunch up at the smell of cigarette smoke, trying not to breath it in too deeply. He eyes Taemin wearily, wondering if he’s actually going to try and hit him when the taller male grabs his arm, looking over his hand and sighing before dropping it and becoming uninterested. He doesn’t realize why until he notices a small pattern on the side of Taemin’s hand that is visible.

“You’re an idiot,” Jongin speaks up, shaking his head before looking at him like he’s the most unpleasant thing he’s ever seen.

“I get you’re anti-soulmate but Whether you like it or not, everyone’s got one dude,” Taemin comments with a shrug, putting out the cigarette they left sitting near the windowsill before closing the window when the warning bell rings. “Just double checking. So, sue me.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as he moves towards the door, ignoring the group as they follow him out. He’s surprised Jongin doesn’t do anything to him on the way back to their classroom, wondering if maybe Seulgi and Sehun were exaggerating. He contemplates whether or not they were just messing with him when he feels something push against his back, causing him to run into the teacher for their next subject.

He fumbles and winces as he ends up falling along with the teacher’s coffee mug, the ceramic hitting the tile of the classroom and breaking. Not before managing to spill all over their shirt of course. Kyungsoo doesn’t even want to look up, hearing his classmates stifling their laughter is enough embarrassment that he really can’t handle looking the teacher in the eye as he gets up and bows as deeply as he can.

Kyungsoo turns when he hears a snicker, watching as Kim Jongin smiles at him before he maneuvers around the mess along with Wonsik, the other male giving him an apologetic look at least.

“I guess that answers the question as to who will be cleaning the classroom after school this week,” the teacher states plainly, dismissing him to stand at the back of the room for the rest of the lecture.

Kyungsoo realizes very quickly they were absolutely right about Kim Jongin.

\--

Kyungsoo doesn’t really get in trouble for the incident, other than having to stay late all week, which he has to explain to Seungsoo. The elder doesn’t look upset with him but sighs tiredly when he informs him why he has to. He doesn’t tell him that he was _pushed_, because getting picked on in school isn’t something the elder needs to add to his long list of responsibilities.

Kyungsoo has to deal with this one on his own, so he does his best to just avoid Kim Jongin entirely. After the first day there aren’t anymore incidents that result in him ruining a teacher’s shirt for the remainder of the day at least. So maybe Jongin got it out of his system already.

But then that would just make things too easy. So of course, the day Kyungsoo ends up running a little later than usual, morning going bad already, Kim Jongin decides to _really_ initiate him in. Because his life can’t just be simple, there always has to be _something_ making everything so much more complicated.

Kyungsoo walks into the classroom with only a couple of minutes to spare, out of breath and cursing everything under the sun for having to take the city bus. He just wants to sit and catch his breath but as he walks further into the classroom, he realizes that people are laughing and aiming their phones at the ceiling.

Kyungsoo frowns as he comes to the realization that his seat is _missing_, blinking slowly as he looks at Sehun who is standing next to his desk and looking up. Kyungsoo slowly trails his eyes towards what everyone else is looking at and that’s where he spots it. His desk is attached to the ceiling, thanks to a lot of duct tape.

Kyungsoo already knows who is responsible too, looking over at Kim Jongin who is in his own seat looking a little too smug. Jongin downright beams when he makes eye contact with him. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath before setting his bag down in the spot where his desk is supposed to be before marching up to Kim Jongin and feeling his hand twitch at the smile he has on his face.

“What the _hell_ is your problem?” he questions hotly, not going to go through the rest of the year dealing with stuff like this.

Jongin has the nerve to give him a confused look before replying. “I don’t have a problem, Kyungsoo.”

“Don’t play dumb, I _know_ you’re the one that did it,” he argues, feeling himself get worked up and knowing he should just let it go but his morning is already going horribly, and this is just the icing on the cake.

“If you know I did it, then _prove_ it,” Jongin replies easily before shrugging and leaning back in his chair.

“Seriously, did your parents not hug you enough as a kid for you to be this much of an asshole? Did your mom drop you on the head when you were a baby?” he questions angrily, watching as Jongin’s smile immediately starts to fade.

“I would shut up if I were you,” Jongin warns but Kyungsoo is _mad_, so he doesn’t.

He’s mad because if his parents were still alive then he wouldn’t have to be at this dumb school. He wouldn’t have to work so hard to make sure Seungsoo doesn’t worry about him. He wouldn’t have had to move in the first place. But they’re not. Both his parents are gone, and grief isn’t something that just suddenly disappears. It comes in waves and for Kyungsoo it’s constant and never-ending crashing.

And he can’t take it out on Seungsoo or his supposed new friends. So, he takes it out on Kim Jongin.

“Mommy didn’t tuck you into bed at night?” he questions, hitting the nail right on the head because Jongin _lunges_ out of his seat and tackles him to the ground hard enough he loses his breath for a second.

The first punch is expected and probably deserved, because Kyungsoo is the _last_ person that should be pointing out someone’s parental issues, but the second one isn’t. So Kyungsoo hits back, because he didn’t spend years forced to take judo lessons while his parents worked for nothing. He’s out of practice and honestly out of shape but he’s still able to unpin himself from the ground and hit Kim Jongin square in the nose.

Vaguely he can hear people in the background telling them to break it up and their homeroom teacher is apparently calling for someone, but Kyungsoo is already in enough trouble he doesn’t _care_. He hits Jongin just as hard as Jongin hits him and ignores how badly it _hurts_. It isn’t until someone yanks him off of Jongin does he stop actually fighting and realize his lip is bleeding. He doesn’t get a good enough look at Jongin though, getting dragged out of the classroom by another teacher.

The desk is long forgotten about.

\--

Kyungsoo sits in front of the principal’s office in silence, ice pack resting against his cheek which is now a giant bruise. It’s close enough to his eye that even that hurts, because Jongin wasn’t holding back when he decided to punch him. He wasn’t either though, so Jongin is sporting a nose that looks bruised already and a swollen eye. Kyungsoo’s hand hurts too, because judo isn’t really a punching sport for him to know how to fight properly.

The two of them have been sitting outside of the principal’s office for well over thirty minutes. A couple of students have been in and out of her office, presumably telling an unbiased view on what exactly happened. Sehun already brought him his bag and gave him a concerned look but didn’t say much. Kyungsoo will be surprised if his supposed new friends will talk to him after this.

As it is, he’s unsure if he’ll be able to talk to _anyone_ once Seungsoo gets to the school. Granted he’s never done anything worth getting in trouble for, this isn’t just being late to class too many times or skipping. Not to mention the elder is still new at his job and having to take off just to tend to his delinquent brother isn’t something that looks good to any employer.

Kyungsoo already feels guilty but that feeling intensifies when Seungsoo does show up, looking completely and utterly _disappointed_ in him. He can’t manage to hold eye contact for long, deciding that the floor is more interesting. He scoots over when Seungsoo moves to sit next to him, moving to bite on his lip but forgetting its cut and wincing.

He looks over when he hears someone else walk into the room, spotting an older gentleman that has such a striking resemblance to Jongin that it can only be his dad. Jongin doesn’t even acknowledge him though, continuing to glare at the carpet. It isn’t until they get called into the office does Jongin finally tear his eyes away from the floor.

Kyungsoo goes in first and takes a seat, adjusting his ice pack and moving away when Seungsoo reaches out for it. He looks over at the principal instead, knowing she’s nice from what he saw briefly during his tour, but fighting is usually not something that requires you to be anything but strict. He doesn’t think it only being the first couple of weeks of classes is making things any better.

She definitely doesn’t hold back on them, giving them detention _every_ Friday for the rest of the semester, despite Jongin’s protest. A simple glare is enough for him to back off, jaw clenching as he glares back. Not only that but they both get sentenced to after school clean up for their classroom every day.

Any school event needing volunteers can count on them and to make matters even worse, they will be seatmates for the rest of the year. Any future fights will result in an expulsion that they aren’t getting now because she’s feeling lenient.

Kyungsoo takes it all in stride, knowing he messed up and is bound to get punished even more at home. He feels apologetic but thinks its stupid for her to tell them to apologize to one another so soon. Kyungsoo is sorry for bringing up something he probably shouldn’t have, but he isn’t sorry for defending himself.

Neither one of them speaks up but it takes a nudge from Seungsoo and a glare from Jongin’s dad that has them eventually muttering out not so apologetic _sorry’s_ one another. Kyungsoo doesn’t believe it and he knows Jongin doesn’t either but it’s enough for them to get sent into the hallway again while the adults talk.

Kyungsoo takes the furthest seat from Jongin and sighs as he messes with his ice pack, resting it on his hand for a while. He eyes Jongin when he shrugs off his uniform coat and tosses it on a chair next to him, rolling up his sleeves and that’s when Kyungsoo spots it. At first, he thinks it can’t possibly be the same, because Jongin’s dots don’t look at all connected like they should be but apparently this is new to Jongin too, who starts inspecting it himself.

Kyungsoo immediately looks away and tries to even his breathing, fighting the urge to look at his own wrist and instead facing forward. There’s no way. That’s not how soulmates are supposed to work.

He looks up when both Seungsoo and Jongin’s dad come out of the office, confusing him even more when Jongin’s dad kisses the principal on the cheek. He immediately looks over at Jongin who seems disgusted, nose scrunching up in distaste before it clicks.

“The _principal_ is your mom?” he questions incredulously, flinching back at the glare Jongin sends him.

“_No_,” Jongin immediately denies despite his father looking at him with a disapproving frown. “She’s **_not_** my mom,” Jongin denies sternly, grabbing his bag and walking out the room without so much as another word to either of them, including his dad.

“Stepmother,” the principal clarifies after Jongin has left, a tight smile on her lips as she dismisses him.

Kyungsoo feels lightheaded as he leaves the office, watching as Jongin stalks off down the hallway. He looks over at Seungsoo when he sighs tiredly, feeling even more apologetic seeing the disappointment yet again.

“Kyungsoo, this is Mr. Kim, my boss,” Seungsoo introduces, looking over at Jongin’s dad who gives him a tired smile.

Kyungsoo finds himself reeling, unable to fully process _anything_ he’s just learned within the past ten minutes and feeling his breakfast start to make its way back up, stomach gurgling unhappy.

“I need to throw up,” he mutters before heading towards the nearest restroom and rushing into a stall, immediately turning the lock as he tries to catch his breath.

He looks down at his wrist and hesitates before undoing the buttons and pulling the sleeve back. To his absolute horror his suspicions are confirmed as he takes in his soul mark, whose lines are faded and broken up, no longer connecting like normal. Kyungsoo comes to the realization that Kim Jongin is his soulmate before he finds himself getting rid of what he ate for breakfast. 

Kyungsoo decides soulmates are bullshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be 4 parts to this and this is part 1  
part 2 will be posted after tie me down is completed  
posting part 1 now because otherwise i'll let this fic die and i already said i would finish it so


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmates are bullshit. Jongin doesn't care about some stupid lines.

Jongin starts his morning like he always does, reaching over and hitting his alarm clock and moving to lie on his back as he contemplates whether getting out of bed is even worth it. He usually spends five minutes telling himself staying home means being constantly pestered by the lady his dad married and he rather deal with his stupid classmates than deal with her. So, he gets up and quickly gets ready because its Monday, he always leaves early on Mondays.

He showers quickly and then dresses in his uniform, poking at his bruised cheek in the mirror. Its starting to fade but not too much, it still feels sore to the touch when he presses down a little harder. He ignores the implication of it, having more problems to deal with before he can even think about school. He puts on his watch and ignores the marking, making sure its hidden.

He grabs his phone off the charger and then packs up his schoolbooks and zips up his backpack. He makes sure he has his wallet before he goes towards the door. He takes a deep breath before sighing tiredly as he walks into the hallway and then arrives near the kitchen. His dad is already up and working on making himself his first cup of coffee of the day, not quite dressed for work yet since it’s still early.

There’s already breakfast at the table that Jongin chooses to ignore, going towards the shoe rack and grabbing his sneakers. If he were lucky, they wouldn’t even notice him but he’s _not_, far from it. Of course, his dad notices him and says good morning, moving to sit at the table with his cup of coffee as Jongin tiredly acknowledges him with a small noise in return.

“Minyoung made breakfast,” his dad speaks up, making him suppress a sigh as he turns towards him and looks at the table.

It’s obvious there’s more than enough for just the two of them even though he never eats with them, especially not on Monday’s. She knows that he eats a lot when he _does_ eat breakfast and she knows what his favorites are and they’re all there. It seems nice until he spots the ceramic mug she’s using for her own morning coffee.

The golden sunflower is still as bright as Jongin remembers it. He thought all those things were put up, safe, away from people using them. It makes him angry that she can just use something that doesn’t belong to her. Jongin tightens the grip on his backpack and ignores her in opt to look at his dad instead.

“I’m not hungry,” he states plainly, well aware that most of the food will have to be put up because there’s no way the two of them will eat it all. The entire point of putting _that_ much food out is based on him eating with them, which isn’t going to happen.

“Minyoung worked really hard,” his dad tries to argue, but gets stopped by the woman in question shaking her head.

“It’s okay,” she comments quietly, smiling the same strained smile that just annoys him.

Jongin takes a deep breath, forcing his eyes away from the coffee mug and directing his anger towards his dad, who should _know_ better. Jongin wants to yell at him but today is Monday and he can’t be late.

“That’s _mom’s_ mug,” is all he says before he turns towards the front entrance and leaves the apartment, closing the door louder than what’s necessary and making his way down the hallway.

It’s _Monday_ so he heads straight to the bus stop, taking out his pass and scanning it as he gets on. He takes his headphones out and plugs it into his phone, hitting play on his music player and then waiting for his stop. He has the routine down enough because every Monday is the same and has been for almost three years.

He takes his headphones out when he gets off at his stop, walking down the sidewalk until he arrives in front of the flower shop. He opens the door and is instantly greeted by the aroma of the lilies which are closest to the doors. It’s not too busy in the early morning hours and Jongin is easily able to walk up to the counter and wait.

Its run by his aunt and his uncle, occasionally one of his cousins will help out when they aren’t at school. Before everything, his mom worked there too. Jongin would spend hours just sitting behind the counter watching her make bouquets. He can name every single flower in the shop thanks to her.

“What happened to your face?” his aunt questions as soon as she sees him, making him wince a little at her tone, forgetting she would notice right away.

“Mean duck at the park,” he lies easily, smiling when she gives him a scolding look before she sighs and shakes her head at him.

“You’re too handsome to have an ugly bruise on your face Kim Jongin,” she scolds before she goes about grabbing his arrangements.

He takes out his wallet and hands her the money and has to force her to take it from him like he always does. Family shouldn’t pay for flowers, she says but Jongin _insists_ he doesn’t want things for free. She relents and puts the money in the cash register before handing him his receipt and the two bouquets. He smiles and promises to see her again soon before he leaves.

His next stop is still a good ten-minute walk away but Jongin enjoys the alone time. He checks his phone for the time and is glad that he’s on schedule. Leaving an hour early guarantees him enough time to do what he needs and still make it to school on time. Not that he’s too concerned about being late for _school_, but he doesn’t really enjoy being late for _anything_.

Jongin has his schedule and he abides by it as best as he can. He likes routine and hates when it gets interrupted. He tries not to think about how that’s all going to be ruined once he gets to school, forcing his hands not to fidget with the string that’s holding the bouquets together. He takes a deep breath as he arrives at the columbarium, walking in and bowing to the staff before heading towards the correct area.

Jongin walks towards the right side of the room and stops when he’s in front of the correct box. He reaches in and takes out the flowers from last week, setting them down on the floor. He does the same to the one next to it, placing the new bouquets in each box and then sighing.

“Hi mom,” he greets quietly, reaching in and fixing her picture frame before looking to the box next to hers. “Hi noona.”

He notices his own reflection in the glass and winces again seeing the bruise, knowing his mom would be upset if she saw it too.

“I got into a fight at school,” he explains to absolutely no one, knowing that the urn is just full of ashes and the picture is just a picture. It doesn’t matter to him though, it being the only thing keeping him from really losing it after they passed is still thinking they’re listening to him every time he comes and updates them on how things are going.

“I’m sorry, I know better,” he apologizes, knowing his mom would have scolded him for even thinking about hitting another student. “He deserved it though,” he tries to argue before shutting up, knowing she would have probably gotten mad.

He looks down at his watch for the time and moves it out of the way a bit to reveal his wrist, his other predicament staring him in the face. It’s a new development that Jongin isn’t sure what to make of, but it’s not like it really matters. It could completely fade away and Jongin wouldn’t be the least bit surprised.

“I should get to school,” he mumbles, looking at the picture of his mother again and slowly starting to feel worse about his morning.

He smiles tiredly before he blows away a little bit of dust that’s collected since he was last there. He never stays for too long, although he wishes he could. He still has school and several bus stops to take to make sure he makes it there on time.

He tells his mom and sister goodbye with a promise he’ll be back next week before leaving the building. By the time he gets to the bus stop he’s got his headphones on and music playing, scanning his bus pass as he goes and stands in the back.

\--

Putting Kyungsoo’s desk on the ceiling of the classroom wasn’t exactly Jongin’s idea in the first place. It’s pretty stupid and juvenile, not to mention a waste of money buying that much duct tape but Jongin has stupid and juvenile friends. Although, Wonsik isn’t as bad as the others. He’s the only one that at least tried to talk them out of it, knowing it would lead to trouble.

Jongin didn’t really care either way, annoyed enough about his seat being occupied by some short kid who couldn’t take a hint. He’s been sitting in the same spot in every classroom since he can remember and if there’s one thing Jongin hates more than anything, it’s when his routine gets ruined.

So, he didn’t really care if Kyungsoo ratted on him, even if he really didn’t do anything other than provide the tape and help hold onto the legs of the desk while Taemin did most of the work. It wouldn’t really matter what he said, everything would point to him. The principal wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it even if it did reach her ears because Jongin _hates_ her and punishment only means him hating her even more.

He didn’t expect Kyungsoo to react the way he did though. Jongin really doesn’t get yelled at by anyone, because kids either worship him or are too scared to do anything because the principal is married to his dad. Kyungsoo getting mad enough and _purposefully_ picking a fight really wasn’t what he expected. He’s still annoyed about the entire situation, knowing that had Kyungsoo just completely kept his mom out of it, Jongin wouldn’t have actually hit him.

There are consequences he still has to follow though, which includes having to sit next to stupid Kyungsoo starting today. He’s had a weekend to cool down but Jongin reserves the right to hold a grudge. There’s still tape on the ceiling from last weeks incident, whoever having had to take down the desk not being able to reach. Jongin will have to take the rest down later today, considering he’s been sentenced to cleaning the stupid classroom for the rest of the semester.

He doesn’t even want to think of having to spend his Fridays in after school detention with Kyungsoo, right now he just needs to focus on getting through sitting next to him. The shorter male is already in his new desk in the middle of the back row, talking to Sehun who is standing next to him.

Jongin makes it a point to ignore them, grabbing his own desk and pulling it away from where its touching Kyungsoo’s. When he deems there’s enough space, he puts his backpack down and pulls out his chair louder than necessary before sitting down and turning to his right where Wonsik is now with a new seatmate.

“Real mature,” Sehun sneers out, making him take a deep breath and turn to give him a glare.

“Fuck off Sehun,” he snaps, not in the mood to deal with ex-friends and their insistent need on trying to talk to him.

People like Oh Sehun don’t have shit to deal with other than what they’re going to spend their money on next or stupid school clubs. Jongin was like that back then, before high school started, and he still had two parents and a sister. There was a point where all Jongin wanted was some new device or new clothes, new shoes. Now the only thing he wants he can’t have because once people die, _that’s it._

The second after Jongin was told both his mom and sister were gone, their stupid problems became insignificant and Jongin could no longer find anything they had in common. Not to mention, when your mom and sister die, you learn pretty quickly how annoying condolences and pitying looks can get. None of his old friends would understand and even if his current ones don’t either, at least they don’t care enough about anything to constantly tip toe around his feelings.

Jongin hates change but he hates being treated as the kid whose mom died even more. So, despite years of friendship, Jongin doesn’t care if Oh Sehun hates him. He usually gives him a reason to at least once a day and that’s just how its going to be until Jongin graduates and never has to see any of his stupid classmates again.

Jongin spares Kyungsoo a single glance, noting that the cut on his lip looks a little gross before turning back to his actual friend. It’s still a school day and Jongin still has a reputation and image to uphold, regardless if he feels like just shutting down and sitting in a stall all day. He can’t let a single coffee mug ruin his day.

\--

The first thing Jongin does after the teacher in charge of monitoring after school leaves the classroom, is go and take the tape off the ceiling. Jongin is tall enough that he just needs to stand on a desk and move around a bit to get it off. Although there’s a couple of pieces that are pretty stuck that take a bit more force, he manages.

By the time he’s done with that Kyungsoo has already taken out all the cleaning supplies from their class closet. He ignores him and moves to grab the broom and dustpan, just wanting to get through with this as soon as possible so he can leave.

“You should clean the windows,” Kyungsoo speaks up, making him frown as he turns around and waits for an explanation. “You’re taller,” Kyungsoo eventually admits, looking flustered over saying it out loud and it annoys Jongin for no particular reason.

“You being a hobbit isn’t _my_ problem,” he states plainly before going back to sweeping the floor, not understanding how the classroom tracks in so much dirt.

He ignores Kyungsoo grumbling to himself as he cleans the windows, loudly pulling a chair over when he gets to the higher parts. Jongin glares at him for the unnecessary noise before turning and just watching him. He finds himself smiling smugly over the fact that Kyungsoo still can’t reach the top parts of the windows and actually has to jump to finish cleaning them.

“You’re going to fall, dumbass,” he warns, knowing the chairs they have aren’t the most stable and standing on them is one thing, but jumping on them is another.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo snaps at him so he shrugs and turns around.

Jongin goes and sweeps the front of the classroom and is near the door when the inevitable happens. He looks over and spots Kyungsoo on the floor looking more than embarrassed as the chair lies on its side. Jongin smiles when Kyungsoo looks over at him and because he’s made it a personal goal to annoy him, he says what they’re both thinking.

“Told you so,” he chirps out before walking over towards Kyungsoo and tossing the broom at his feet. “Hurry up and get out of the way,” he states plainly, grabbing the window cleaner and paper towels before kicking the chair out of the way.

“Asshole,” Kyungsoo mutters before he gets up and snatches the broom up from the ground and goes and starts to sweep.

Jongin ignores him and cleans the windows without much trouble, having to stand on his tip toes to get to the top ones but not really worrying about the very top. No one needs to see out of them that high anyways. When he’s finished, he goes and cleans the white board and then the chalkboard, taking a small break to check his phone.

He ignores the text messages from his dad reminding him that he’s supposed to wait for Minyoung once he’s done cleaning the classroom and instead places an order at the closest bubble tea shop next to the bus stop. He looks up when he hears Kyungsoo drop the broom in the closet, the other male sighing loudly as he rights it.

Jongin goes and sets the paper towels and glass cleaner in the cubby before tossing in the other stuff he used. It doesn’t take long to clean the classroom since it’s only Monday and nothing is too dirtied up from the week. He moves and grabs his backpack from his chair and leaves without saying anything, plugging his headphones in and walking out of the school and down the road to the shop he placed his order.

He pays for his drink and then goes and waits at the bus stop, pausing when he gets there and Kyungsoo is already waiting. He can’t help but groan out of annoyance, which makes Kyungsoo look up and immediately give him a glare when he realizes they’re waiting for the same bus.

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo interrogates, making him return the glare.

“Waiting for the bus you idiot,” he snaps, unable to enjoy his drink now that he has to deal with Kyungsoo even longer.

“No, I mean the principal is literally your step-mom, why are you taking the bus?” Kyungsoo questions and Jongin’s mood is ruined completely.

“Why don’t you mind your own business and fuck off?” he snaps irritably, ignoring the scandalized look the little lady nearby sends him and shoving his earbuds back into place and turning around.

He rather walk home.

When his dad gets home and scolds him for ignoring his texts and have Minyoung worry, he tunes him out.

\--

Wednesdays are always the same, just like Monday’s are. Jongin goes to school and then his aunt picks him up, because Jongin only trusts her and deep down he knows its because she reminds him of his mom. His mom being dead is the whole reason Wednesdays are always the same. The reason he always goes to therapy on Wednesday’s after school.

Jongin didn’t want to go initially, because what kid wants to go sit in a room with an adult tell him why he’s so screwed up. He already knew why, he didn’t’ need anyone to tell him. He didn’t really have a choice though, considering he isn’t an adult and his dad gets worried about him. It was about three months after his mom and sister died that his dad started taking him and for six weeks, Jongin just sat in the room and didn’t talk.

Jongin would sit in the room for an hour and just, not talk. He wouldn’t say a single thing and Dr. Lee would let him. Then his dad met Minyoung and Jongin couldn’t tell anyone at school, so he started talking. Jongin stopped letting his dad bring him and instead asked if his aunt could, so she has. Always.

Today is no different and Jongin gets in her minivan right after school, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the cheek before moving to put on his belt. She asks him about his day and Jongin tells her, because for fifteen whole minutes on Wednesday he can pretend everything is fine and that this is normal.

His aunt isn’t his mom but for fifteen minutes he can pretend like she is. He doesn’t tell his therapist that though, not wanting to know what she thinks. He’ll tell her other things, but he doesn’t want to tell her that.

He has to wait usually since he’s always early for his appointment because Jongin hates being late and his aunt knows that. She waits with him and waves when he gets called, taking out her crochet needles and yarn as she works on another scarf.

The first thing Jongin’s therapist does when she sees him today is ask why his face is all bruised up. Jongin goes and lies on the couch, propping his feet up and shrugging.

“I got into a fight with some kid,” he replies, because he doesn’t want her thinking his dad beats him or something. “He deserved it though,” he adds on, messing with his watch.

“Why is that?” she questions so Jongin shrugs some more and looks up at the dangling lights.

One of the many reasons he has never put up a fight on going to Dr. Lee was because the office had the cliché couch and wasn’t depressing to look at. Her walls are painted a light shade of purple and she has fairy lights lining around the ceiling that Jongin can just stare at. It doesn’t feel like he’s at a therapist half the time.

“He brought up my mom,” he replies easily, picking at his nails and keeping his gaze on the fairy lights. “Not her necessarily, just a generalization,” he clarifies.

“So, you got mad,” she replies and Jongin nods his head.

“He took my seat too, so he had it coming,” he adds on, continuing to fidget because he knows she’s just going to tell him that it shouldn’t bother him so much if he didn’t get the seat he always gets.

He was never so obsessive about things like that until after his mom died, he knows that. She tells him having a routine is okay but flipping out over it getting messed up is something he needs to learn to deal with. Jongin hasn’t yet so she knows she’s going to bring it up. That the only reason he wants that seat is because its where he sat the year his mom died, and he could just look outside and tune everything out.

He always goes to visit his mom and sister on Monday’s because he hopes it will make the hardest day of the week a little better. He always sits in the back because on hard days he can stare outside and watch the grass and see the flowers and get reminded of his mom. He puts his life on such a routine that he’s distracted enough to not be sad all the time.

He knows why he does the things he does. He just doesn’t know how to change it or if he even wants to change it. He knows Dr. Lee wants him to try and he supposes he has now, even though he didn’t want to. He has to stay and clean after school every day and every Friday he’ll have detention.

She says straying from routine and adding even more to it aren’t exactly the same. He supposes she has a point there. Jongin isn’t sure how he feels about that, so he moves on and she lets him.

“The lines are all messed up now,” he comments, taking off his watch and looking down at his wrist for once. “I don’t know what happened but they’re not connecting anymore.”

She asks if it bothers him and Jongin shrugs, not really sure. He’s used to seeing the lines connect though and now that they aren’t, it does kind of bother him.

“Do you think it would bother your soulmate?” she questions, which is a stupid question, but he keeps that thought to himself.

“Soulmates are bullshit,” is what he replies with, because if his mom and dad were really supposed to be made for one another, his dad wouldn’t have moved on a year after she was dead. He wouldn’t have moved on _at all_.

The day his mom died, the flowers did too and Jongin knows its because she was gone. It hurt him _so much_, down to the one thing that is supposed to make him happy. He doesn’t understand how his dad was able to move on when _he_ can’t, and she wasn’t his soulmate. She was his mom and his sister is just forgotten about.

So, soulmates are bullshit. He doesn’t care about some stupid lines.

\--

Friday detentions are always served in the library, the quietest place in the entire school and they’re all expected to keep it that way. Only the _worst_ kids get themselves in Friday detentions so Jongin isn’t surprised to see the seniors he knows give Taemin the cigarettes he smokes in the bathroom during lunch break. They looked surprised to see him but don’t say anything as they do their assigned work.

The teacher in charge tells both him and Kyungsoo that they’re supposed to spend their hour and a half writing an apology to one another, for their fight. Jongin glares because he knows its stupid Minyoung that put them up to this and goes and sits in his seat, taking out a piece of paper and a pencil so he at least looks like he’s obeying.

Jongin doesn’t really do what she asks, because he never does _anything_ she asks of him. She should know that and so it’s not his fault that instead of writing a note, Jongin decides to draw a picture instead. The hour and a half goes by and when the teacher makes them stay behind to hand each other their supposed apologies Jongin second guesses his choice.

When Kyungsoo hands him a paper, there’s an actual note that takes up the whole sheet. It looks sincere and Jongin hates that despite everything, he feels bad when he hands over a picture of his interpretation of Mr. Park, which isn’t the least bit flattering and earns him detention on Monday.

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything as the drawing gets confiscated and Jongin leaves the room without a glance back, crumbling the note up and shoving it in his backpack. Reading it will just make him feel guilty and Jongin doesn’t want that. He has enough guilt on his own just being _alive_ while his mom and sister aren’t, he doesn’t need more.

He also ignores how he’s supposed to wait for Minyoung, instead walking down the road and towards the bus stop and waits there. He checks his watch and only looks up because Kyungsoo sits next to him on the bench, making him frown.

“I saw Principal Park waiting for you outside,” Kyungsoo speaks up, so he turns to give him a glare to make him shut up. “You rather take the bus than get a ride from her and you rather walk home than take the bus with me,” he adds on.

Jongin doesn’t know what Kyungsoo expects him to reply with, so he doesn’t say anything. Instead he takes his headphones out and shoves them in his ears and puts a random song on. He doesn’t feel like walking today so he stays on the bench and gets up when the bus arrives. He scans his pass and then walks to the back and takes a seat.

Kyungsoo takes one two rows up from him and Jongin does his best to ignore him when the bus starts moving. It takes several stops for him to get close enough to the apartment complex so Jongin will be sitting for a while. He people watches mostly, getting car sick if he stares out the window for too long.

So, he’s able to see an older man get on the bus despite him looking like he’s more than drunk. It leaves Jongin feeling uncomfortable as the man scans the bus for a seat and his eyes land on the one next to Kyungsoo. It shouldn’t bother him, but it does, because buses are full of greasy old men that touch when they shouldn’t.

Before he can even think about it Jongin gets out of his seat and walks forward, immediately sitting down next to Kyungsoo and eyeing the man as he pauses. He says something too slurred to make out as he goes and sits in the back, thankfully leaving them alone. It isn’t until Jongin feels a hand on his arm does he realize what he did.

He ignores the way Kyungsoo tells him thank you, not replying to him and instead looking around the bus like he normally does. He rationalizes it as doing what his mom would have wanted him to do. He and his sister rarely would ride the bus but when they did, Jongin always let her sit near the window and made sure to look out for her even if she was older. His mom would have wanted him to do that for anyone, not just his noona.

When he gets home and gets yelled at again, it doesn’t bother him.

\--

Jongin’s dad never used to yell at him, not when his mom was still alive. He was happier he thinks, even though he tries to make it seem like he’s moved on and is happy, Jongin knows bullshit when he sees it. If he were happy, he wouldn’t let every little thing he does wrong bother him, because it never used to.

Jongin holds no accountability for treating Minyoung the way he does because she’s not his mom and no matter how hard Jongin’s dad tries to push the idea that she’s part of the family, she’s not. So, he only calls her by name, and he doesn’t eat her food or make conversation. He just exists inside their apartment because that’s all he can do not to completely crack.

But of course, all Jongin’s dad sees is that he’s being mean to her or he isn’t trying. He’s not moving on. So, he gets mad at him and he yells and even though Minyoung usually gets him to drop it, sometimes he doesn’t. Today is one of those days. It’s a Saturday and Jongin eats breakfast at home on Saturdays.

Of course, Minyoung cooks and Jongin ignores it and settles with his bowl of cereal instead. That’s what makes his dad finally snap and really yell at him. Jongin usually takes it and doesn’t argue back, because there’s usually no point but last night Jongin had nightmares, so he’s not in the mood.

So, when his dad tells him he can’t keep acting like a brat, that Minyoung is family and that he needs to _move on_, Jongin says the meanest thing he can think of. Jongin doesn’t want to forget his mom and his sister and that’s all his dad tries to do. Down to the damn coffee mug he just pretends like the never existed. Even if he doesn’t mean it, he says the one thing that he swore he would never say out loud no matter what. No matter how mad he got. He says it anyways.

“I wish it were you instead,” is what he yells back at him, his dad going completely silent and this time it’s Minyoung that gets mad. Jongin ignores her like he always does and repeats himself, not caring. “I wish _you_ had died instead of mom.”

And then Jongin leaves as fast as he can because he can’t deal with it anymore. He leaves and gets on the first bus he can catch and does his best not to start hyperventilating. Panic attacks are reserved for her anniversary, not today. He can’t have one today and he holds it together long enough to get to the columbarium.

Then he panics, because its raining and now he’s tracking in water and its Saturday _not_ Monday and he doesn’t have his flowers and he’s not supposed to visit her _today_ and everything is just completely fucked up. He isn’t supposed to yell at the only parent he has left, and he isn’t supposed to tell them he wishes they were _dead_.

Jongin can’t breathe and he needs his medicine and he shouldn’t be there, and he just can’t _breathe_.

Then _Kyungsoo_ is there and Jongin doesn’t know why but he stops immediately, looking down at him and then at the box he’s in front of. There’s _two urns_ in there and even mid panic attack Jongin can figure that out.

Jongin is shaking still and he flinches back when Kyungsoo stands up, trying to get his breathing under control because he shouldn’t have a panic attack in front of the kid he beat up. Not in front of his mom and his sister and the dead parents Kyungsoo is visiting.

Kyungsoo says something but all Jongin hears is static, unable to stop his hands from shaking and still struggling to catch his breath when it hits him all over again. His mom and sister are _dead,_ and they aren’t coming back. He’s alone.

“I want my mom,” he chokes out before he cries into Kyungsoo’s shoulder and he doesn’t stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told yall not to be mean to jongin :<


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyungsoo is tired of not caring.

Kyungsoo tugs on the sleeve of his sweater as he looks over at Jongin who is still just sitting on his bed, staring at the wall silently. Kyungsoo looks down at his phone and sends another text to Seungsoo, wondering why _today_ of all days the elder decided to be out of town. He didn’t know what else to do once Jongin actually stopped crying, unable to call Jongin’s dad since the other male didn’t even have his phone on him and basically became unresponsive.

Jongin was crying and shaking for a long time, enough that Kyungsoo really started to get worried there was something genuinely wrong. He couldn’t get ahold of Seungsoo at the funeral home and did the only thing he could think of, which was bring Jongin back to the apartment. Jongin didn’t even really put up a fight, just going along with him and being completely silent.

Seungsoo finally called a little while after they got to the apartment while he had given Jongin some clothes to change into since his were all wet from the rain. Kyungsoo told the elder that Jongin was with him but he wasn’t talking, and he didn’t know what to do. Seungsoo said he would call Jongin’s dad and then he hung up.

Kyungsoo sighs as he goes back to the kitchen and grabs a mug from the cupboard and grabs the kettle that has warmed up now. He pours the hot water and then puts a tea packet inside before grabbing the honey from the pantry. He isn’t sure how sweet Jongin takes his tea, or if he even likes tea, or will even drink it, but he pours at least enough to sweeten it up.

When he’s done, he goes back to his room, poking his head inside and seeing that Jongin is still sitting on the bed but he actually looks over when he walks in this time. Kyungsoo has a moment of clarity where he realizes that this is the person he’s supposed to be with before he pushes the thought to the back of his head. 

“I made you tea,” he comments quietly as he walks over towards his bed, biting his lip as he moves to sit it down on his little nightstand next to the bed. “It’s jasmine with honey,” he adds when Jongin actually looks down at the cup.

“You don’t have to drink it, I just thought you might want something warm,” he explains before moving to sit at his small desk and looking down at his phone.

He lets out a relieved sigh when he sees that Seungsoo will be home soon and that he’s already gotten a hold of Jongin’s dad. He looks up when he hears Jongin let out a shaky breath, frowning when he realizes that he’s fidgeting with his hands a lot and looking like he may start crying again. Kyungsoo slowly gets up and approaches him, tentatively moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

When Jongin doesn’t look like he minds he scoots over and sits next to him, unsure what to really do. He sighs tiredly before leaning against Jongin’s arm, not knowing how a simple visit to his parents ended up like this. He had no intention of telling Jongin about their shared soul mark, deciding not to act on anything until he could sort out his own thoughts. 

Soulmates are supposed to be people that you just immediately click with, someone who understands and loves you unconditionally. Kyungsoo doesn’t think he understands Jongin one bit. Maybe the gods got it wrong with them, some sort of mix up when the universe decided _they_ were supposed to end up together. 

He tiredly closes his eyes and holds onto Jongin’s arm when he hears him sniffle, not sure what else he can do than just hold him while he goes through whatever it is that’s happening. He just wanted to see him mom and dad, tell them about how school sucks, he has friends though, how his soulmate is an asshole. Instead, there was Jongin. He’s tired, the rain always makes him drowsy, so he ends up falling asleep.

When he wakes up, he slowly realizes that Jongin is no longer next to him and he’s alone in his room. He blearily sits up and rubs his eyes, noting that the cup of tea isn’t on his nightstand either. He tiredly gets out of bed and walks out of his room, looking around the living room and noting that Seungsoo is back home and it’s been several hours since he got home from the time on the clock.

“Where’s Jongin?” he questions, frowning when he looks around and realizes it’s just the two of them.

Seungsoo looks up from his laptop and takes off his glasses, rubbing his eyes before answering him. 

“His aunt picked him up about an hour ago. He seemed fine when I got here,” Seungsoo replies, making him frown as he moves to sit on the couch next to his brother. “He was really polite, even washed the mug from the tea you made him. You were asleep so he didn’t want to bother you. I don’t know why you picked a fight with him,” the elder comments, putting his glasses back on before looking down at his laptop.

Kyungsoo feels his eye twitch in annoyance, scowling as he crosses his arms over his chest. Kim Jongin is _not_ polite. He’s an entitled jerk who knows how to play people. Kyungsoo doesn’t care if he was crying for his mom. He’s not the only one in the world with a dead parent.

“He started it, he’s an _asshole_,” he grumbles before reaching for the remote and turning on the television, browsing through the handful of channels they have with basic cable before settling on a cooking show.

“He’s just going through a hard time. You shouldn’t be so hard on him,” Seungsoo scolds, making him gape at the elder for _defending_ Kim Jongin of all people. “His dad says he started having panic attacks after his mom and sister died. You don’t get to dictate how people grieve Kyungsoo.”

“At least he has a dad,” he argues bitterly, biting on the inside of his cheek as he watches the show before turning back to Seungsoo. “His sister?” he questions quietly, not having realized Jongin even had siblings. Had being the operative word. 

“Yeah, she was my age,” Seungsoo replies with a tired sigh. That has Kyungsoo frowning, not knowing what he would have done if Seungsoo wasn’t there with him through everything.

“It was the same accident. His sister died on impact, but his mom died at the hospital,” Seungsoo adds on, a blank look on his face as he stares at his computer. “They had her stabilized, but she couldn’t take the trauma. She died a couple hours later. Jongin was in the room. I never thought I would be thankful that they died without us,” the elder says quietly before he shakes his head and goes back to working.

Kyungsoo immediately regrets asking.

\--

Monday rolls around and Kyungsoo waits for Sehun and Seulgi inside the nearby coffee shop on the same block as the school. The two started inviting him to hangout before school, which worked out for him to take the earlier bus and just wait for them inside so he wouldn’t have any more close calls that lead to him getting into fights.

It’s the only thing he’s able to do, since technically he got grounded for a month for getting into the fight in the first place. Although it’s pretty pointless since he never goes out anywhere to begin with. He never has the money to do anything and a part time job is out of the question if he wants to keep his grades up enough to earn a scholarship. So, it works out that he has to turn his friends down for weekends at the mall.

At least at the coffee shop he can just pretend like he isn’t a big fan of coffee or that he already had breakfast. He doesn’t know how long he can use that excuse before they start really questioning why he never buys anything. It’s not like being borderline middle class is something he’s ashamed of, because he’s not. It’s just not something he cares for people to know.

So, he sits and waits and tells them he ate breakfast at home when they get there and order their usual. Kyungsoo tells them his weekend was uneventful when they ask, because he certainly isn’t going to tell them he ran into Kim Jongin mid panic attack and then brought him to his house. 

He doesn’t know what to expect from Jongin today, since he had already left by the time he woke up, there was no awkward acknowledgement of what had happened. He isn’t sure how Jongin is going to act around him now that he knows what he does. Kyungsoo hasn’t acted any different since finding out they’re soulmates, so maybe Jongin won’t be that affected by whatever happened.

When they get to class Jongin isn’t in his seat so Kyungsoo assumes he’s hanging out with his delinquent friends, but Wonshik is already in his own seat. He doesn’t think much of it, sitting down and listening to Sehun go on about the movies this weekend to which he reminds him that he’s still grounded. It gets dismissed and before they know it class is starting and Jongin still hasn’t shown up.

He doesn’t show up the entire day and Kyungsoo wants to not care, but they’re soulmates, so obviously he does. As much as he would like to pretend like nothing has changed, he physically _can’t_ knowing that Jongin is supposed to be the person he ends up with. He wonders if what happened this weekend was really that bad that he isn’t at school, or if he just didn’t want to see him.

Even though he knows it’s stupid he waits until Wonshik is one of the last people in the class and awkwardly approaches him, unsure of what to even say.

“Wonshik?” he calls out, watching as the other male turns around and gives him a confused look, probably not his biggest fan either if Jongin isn’t. 

He means to just ask if Jongin is sick, or if he knows when he’s coming back but finds himself stupidly asking something else.

“Could you give me Jongin’s phone number?” he questions before he can think better of it. 

The look Wonshik gives him is borderline judging, a confused furrow of his brows but his eyes are full of questioning. Kyungsoo doesn’t have a good enough reason to want Jongin’s phone number. They don’t have any partnered assignments they need to work on, they aren’t friends, not even close. 

“If you want his phone number you should ask him,” Wonshik replies eventually, making him roll his eyes before turning around and heading towards the classroom closet for the cleaning supplies.

“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Wonshik says, making him pause and turn around but the other male is already out the door.

Kyungsoo sighs tiredly as he goes back to grabbing the class broom and dustpan, knowing it’s going to take him even longer to clean by himself.

\--

When Kyungsoo walks in the classroom the next day Jongin is already sitting in his desk, facing Wonshik who is showing him something on his phone. Kyungsoo tunes out whatever Sehun is talking about as he moves closer to his desk, pausing a bit before he pulls his chair out and sits down. Jongin doesn’t even look over at him, not once and Kyungsoo doesn’t know why it bothers him so much.

He doesn’t know why he expected things to change, when it's obvious Jongin wants nothing to do with him still. He doesn’t know why he thought Jongin would at least acknowledge his existence. He could have just left him there crying in front of a bunch of urns and maybe he should have.

“_Kyungsoo_, pay attention,” Sehun whines loud enough that he snaps out of it, shaking his head and looking over at his friend. “I asked if you could come over next weekend. We’re going to have a movie marathon.”

“I’m still grounded,” he replies easily, feeling bad when Sehun sulks a bit as he sits at his desk next to Seulgi. 

“You sure your parents won’t let you come?” Sehun questions, pouting a bit when all he does is shrug.

Kyungsoo feels his lips wanting to twitch into a frown, not having told anyone about his parents yet. Sehun and the group just assume he has them, and he hasn’t exactly corrected them yet. He doesn’t want to be the poor orphan on top of being the new kid. If he doesn’t bring it up, then he can keep pretending.

“I guess I can ask,” he replies quietly, clearing his throat and offering Sehun a small smile before he opens his desk up and grabs his notebook to get ready for class. 

He sighs tiredly as he opens up to a blank page and writes the date in the top corner, looking to his right when he realizes Jongin is staring. He frowns a bit, eyeing him in confusion before Jongin turns around and goes back to listening to Wonshik who is now talking about some girl. Kyungsoo ignores him for the rest of the morning.

When he comes back from lunch that gets ruined though, their history teacher giving them a project to be done with their seatmate. The world is fucking with him, he knows it, because not only is this a project for the rest of the semester and worth 60% of their grade, it’s over the history of soulmates. The universe hates him, it seems like.

He takes a deep breath as he turns to face Jongin, the other male just doodling on the rubric guide the teacher handed out before telling them to spend the rest of his lesson brainstorming and coming up with deadlines for themselves. It’s complete and utter bullshit but he keeps that comment to himself and just sighs.

“We could work on it on Fridays. We could ask Principal Park if we could do that during detention,” he reasons, knowing he rather not have to go to Jongin’s house if he can help it.

“Whatever,” Jongin replies, not looking up from his drawing of a bear with a jar of honey that is actually kind of cute, but he keeps that comment to himself too.

Kyungsoo looks down at the questionnaire Mr. Lee handed them to help with the assignment. There are some personal questions they both have to answer, which is supposed to help guide them on a more specific topic to pick from. Everyone knows soulmates are just a thing that happens, but there’s a lot of subtopics within itself to be brought up.

Like how during a period in the early eighties, research was being done on how to remove soul marks permanently. There was a time when people acted like they were evil. Stuff like that.

“Do you know who your soulmate is?” he questions slowly, staring at the watch Jongin wears that does a perfect job of covering up part of the mark he _knows_ he has.

Jongin shrugs, not bothering to respond right away as he colors in the bear he drew and adds a bowtie. Kyungsoo didn’t really take him for the artistic type, but it somehow makes sense. Kyungsoo had wanted to be an artist at some point before his parents died and that dream got crushed. It’s one thing they have in common.

“Nope,” Jongin eventually replies once he’s done with his drawing. “Don’t know, don’t care.”

“Why don’t you care?” he questions, although that’s not on the questionnaire, he’s just curious.

“Because it’s bullshit,” Jongin replies easily, not bothering to look up as he continues to draw. 

Kyungsoo wants to argue that he didn’t really answer the question, but he figures that would just be hypocritical. He sighs as he looks down at the paper and writes out the subtopic and a series of questions they aim to answer through their research before sliding it over towards Jongin.

“That can be our topic then. History of soulmates not being compatible, or something like that,” he reasons, knowing it would be sort of ironic for them to do this sort of topic _together_ and for whatever reason, Kyungsoo thinks it’s sort of hilarious.

“Fine with me,” Jongin replies plainly, shoving the paper off his desk to continue drawing what looks like a penguin. 

“That settles it then.”

Kyungsoo writes out a brief paragraph on their topic before going towards the front of the classroom to get it approved by Mr. Lee. The teacher reads it over and looks a little judgmental on such a bleak topic but signs off on it regardless. Kyungsoo goes back and sits down in his seat, looking down at Jongin’s paper and its drawings. 

“Why haven’t you told them?” Jongin questions quietly, a concentrated look on his face as he draws a flower from the stem he has along the side of the paper. It looks vaguely familiar, like one of the flowers he may have had on his wrist at some point. That _they_ have had on their wrist.

Kyungsoo moves to ask what he’s talking about before realizing its about his parents. Or his lack of parents and how none of his friends know. Kyungsoo shrugs and bites on his lower lip, wondering what he has to lose replying to him honestly. He’s supposed to be able to be honest with Jongin, his soulmate. 

“I don’t want them to know yet,” he says quietly, not really looking forward to the pitying looks and concerned comments and condolences. 

Jongin doesn’t say anything more after that and Kyungsoo isn’t sure what to make of it.

\--

Principal Park agrees to letting them work on their project in the library, supervised, on Friday’s. They sit at a round table away from the detention students, on the second floor where the computers are at. They can use them if they need to, the teacher in charge of them only coming in every so often to make sure they’re still there.

Kyungsoo decides to just read through their history book and see what he can gain from it and making notes before he goes through the internet. Jongin has three books he was able to find in the library that may or may not help them. Apparently, soulmates not being compatible is rare and not much research has been done because of it.

Either way, they just have to write about the history of it all, no matter how little they can find. Kyungsoo knows he can make it work, making a small timeline as he reads through the material. He’s trying to see how far back those sorts of records go. The sooner they finish the research the sooner they can write their paper and then make a presentation over it.

They have several deadlines they need to meet but none are any time soon. That doesn’t mean Kyungsoo doesn’t get ahead and attempt to get a layout for a rough draft. He pauses when he hears Jongin’s watch start beeping. He looks over at him curiously when he lets out a sigh and starts rummaging through his backpack. 

When he takes out a prescription bottle Kyungsoo wisely looks back down at his book, biting his lip and trying not to look too interested. He supposes Jongin being medicated makes sense after seeing the complete meltdown he had, although Kyungsoo really isn’t sure what the exact term for what happened is. He could ask but he doubts Jongin would be keen on telling him anything about it.

“Does that happen a lot?” he asks anyway, looking up at Jongin who unsurprisingly glares at him for it. 

Jongin grabs his water bottle and takes his medicine though, not trying to hide it from him at least. That should be enough of an excuse to ask about it. It’s been too long without at least _acknowledging_ what happened. When Jongin doesn’t reply he suppresses a sigh, wondering why he has to be so damn difficult. 

“Are you always so annoying?” Jongin questions back, giving him a borderline irritated look before looking at his phone.

They aren’t supposed to be on their phones in detention but being on the second floor with no one constantly watching them give them the freedom to do it anyway. Kyungsoo looks at the smartphone, not knowing why he wanted Jongin’s number in the first place. Jongin is annoying and he doubts he’s any different via text.

“Is Wonshik dating anyone?” he questions, having no idea why he asks in the first place.

Maybe he just wants to annoy Jongin or maybe he just wants any sort of reaction from him other than the indifference he’s shown over the past week. He isn’t sure but he can’t take it back once its out in the open and Jongin finally looks at him, _really_ looks at him for the first time since he lied to Sehun about his parents.

“Why would you want to know that?” Jongin interrogates, looking genuinely confused for a minute before he just looks irritated.

Kyungsoo really doesn’t want to know, doesn’t have the slightest sort of attraction to Wonshik. He’s nice and more polite than the rest of Jongin and his horrible group of friends, but he’s not as attractive and Kyungsoo knows that’s a vain, shitty thing to think, but he doesn’t say it out loud. Wonshik isn’t ugly but he’s not Jongin.

That thought alone is enough to mortify him into blushing, which Jongin probably misreads as something else entirely. Kyungsoo is too confused at his own realizations to move to say anything that proves otherwise, hates himself for even trying to start a conversation in the first place now.

“You don’t know who your soulmate is?” Jongin questions, which makes him tense up.

Kyungsoo wonders what the benefits of lying are again, if it’s worth it or if he should just come clean right then and there. He doesn’t think lying would be that bad, considering he’s been silent on everything so far. It’s been a while since he found out and he still hasn’t said anything.

Telling him wouldn’t really do anything other than probably annoy Jongin, probably make him throw up or something. Jongin still doesn’t really give him the time of day, even during their shared school assignments. He just puts papers on his desk and doesn’t say anything. It’s not really getting them anywhere.

“I do but he doesn’t want anything to do with me,” he replies slowly, wondering why its sounds so depressing out loud.

It’s half the truth, the part being where he knows Jongin is his soulmate and he knows if it weren’t for the fight Jongin wouldn’t even talk to him or give him the time of day. Finding out who your soulmate is isn’t supposed to be so stressful. At least he doesn’t think it’s supposed to be. Everyone else makes it seem like it’s not.

“Sounds like an asshole,” Jongin replies and Kyungsoo tries not to laugh at the irony of it.

He shrugs because it’s all he really has left in him at the moment. He doesn’t want to think about how he thinks Jongin is attractive or how endearing it is that he draws stupid flowers on his notes or how he felt sad when he woke up that day and Jongin still wasn’t with him. It’s stupid and he really just wants to go home because he’s tired.

“He has a girlfriend,” Jongin eventually comments, not looking up from his phone and Kyungsoo isn’t disappointed, doesn’t care in the slightest bit, just nods his head and goes back to his own notes.

  
\--

Somehow or another Kyungsoo finds himself with the flu and bedridden a couple weeks later. It’s really his own fault for agreeing to share a drink with Sehun who ended up not being at school the next day. He really should have noted how he didn’t look quite well, but two days later Kyungsoo feels horrible and a doctors visit confirms the flu and he’s given a prescription for the medicine that’s supposed to lessen the effects but he’s still out of it most of the time.

By the end of the week he’s finally better enough to not be asleep majority of the day. His limbs still feel heavy and achy but he’s able to actually sit up in bed and watch television most of the day. He probably has a lot of homework he needs to catch up on, but he’s excused until the following Monday, which is nice.

Seungsoo of course can’t stay at home with him during the day, but he has meals and medicine already prepped and Kyungsoo feels well enough to venture out and actually eat in the kitchen. He heats up the soup and looks at the clock on the stovetop and winces a bit at how late it is to just now be eating, but at least he managed to get out of bed.

He takes his bowl of soup and goes to sit on the couch instead, the effort of just walking around being enough to leave him tired enough that he wants to cry when he realizes he forgot to grab a spoon. It takes all his willpower to get back up, pausing as he goes through one of the drawers when he hears their doorbell ring.

He frowns, looking over at the clock again to make sure it’s not Seungsoo and immediately dismissing the idea. The elder has his own keys and its just barely past three in the afternoon. He tiredly makes his way over towards the front foyer and checks the security camera, growing even more confused when he sees who it is

He awkwardly puts in the security pin before unlocking the door, blinking in confusion at Jongin standing there, still in uniform and looking all sorts of awkward next to a woman he doesn’t recognize. Jongin awkwardly clears his throat and gets nudged by the woman who smiles politely.

“I came to drop off your homework,” Jongin eventually explains, holding up a small binder that just gives him a headache. “My aunt wanted to make sure you were okay when I told her you had the flu,” he adds on, looking at the older woman and then glaring at nothing in particular.

Kyungsoo is too tired to process anything and just nods his head, holding the door open and letting them both in. He just goes back and sits on the couch, suddenly exhausted from moving around too much. He looks at the coffee table and his soup that’s probably cold now and still without a spoon. He groans tiredly and just stares at it.

“Have you not eaten?” Jongin’s aunt questions him and he tiredly shakes his head no, getting a concerned look before she takes it upon herself to go reheat his soup and grab him a spoon.

He supposes its good thing Seungsoo left the medicine on the counter, so she doesn’t have to go search for it. It feels really weird having someone who is around the same age his mom would have been take care of him. His mom couldn’t afford to take off of work once he got sick and was old enough to take care of himself, but that wasn’t until around the time she died.

It has him not really feeling all that hungry anymore, but he eats anyway, probably looking miserable enough that Jongin moves to sit next to him and opens up the binder. He starts talking about their assignments and although Kyungsoo isn’t really paying attention, it’s enough of a distraction that he gets through his soup without crying. 

Feeling sick always makes him vulnerable to his own emotions and it hits him hard, all at once, all over again how much he misses his mom and his dad. They’re gone and he’s just left behind and he’s usually good at compartmentalizing, acting like he’s okay for Seungsoo’s sake or his friends. But he can’t control it, once that façade cracks Kyungsoo is always left to pick up the pieces on his own, because he can’t be a burden to anyone.

“I usually only have a panic attack on my mom’s anniversary,” Jongin speaks up, sounding calm and not looking at him when he says it. “Sometimes they happen when I don’t want them to, because I miss her too much and I don’t know how to handle it. The medicine helps, I just don’t like taking it. Makes me have weird dreams.”

Kyungsoo looks at him, belatedly realizing that he’s crying which isn’t something he normally likes to do. Normally when Kyungsoo cries, he can’t stop. It was like that at the funeral, the second he started he didn’t stop until he passed out, too tired to keep himself awake anymore. It’s like that on his parent’s anniversary too, he cries and cries and falls asleep with Seungsoo holding him.

“They’re both gone,” he manages to choke out, hating when he has to admit it out loud, hates when he has to admit it _at all._

It’s why he hasn’t told his friends, because majority of the time he ignores it. He pretends like everything is fine. If he doesn’t say it out loud than it’s not real. If his friends don’t know that both his parents are dead, then he can keep pretending, keep the façade up and everything is normal. He can’t do that with Jongin and Jongin can’t do that with him either.

“I know,” Jongin replies, finally looking at him.

“Don’t leave me too,” he pleads quietly, knowing that it’s one thing for Jongin to not be able to stand him, but if Jongin leaves, is suddenly just not there anymore, Kyungsoo won’t be able to handle it.

It doesn’t make any sense, because Jongin is annoying and Kyungsoo hates him 80% of the time but that doesn’t matter. Jongin irritates him just as much as he makes him feel okay, he can’t explain it. Maybe if he never found out Jongin was his then he wouldn’t feel that way, or maybe he would have felt that way regardless. He doesn’t know. It just confuses and scares him and makes him feel desperate all at once.

Kyungsoo looks at him, really looks at him and for a moment he thinks that Jongin knows, when he doesn’t say anything for a while. Maybe that’s just him being delirious with his fever or desperate enough to project his own emotions onto someone else. He doesn’t know, he’s too tired to figure it out.

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” Jongin comments, which isn’t exactly what he wanted to hear but for now it’s enough. “You should sleep. You look gross.”

Kyungsoo is too tired to care about that, curling up against the other male and holding onto his arm tiredly. If Jongin says he’ll stay, then Kyungsoo trusts him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah it's been forever but at least i managed this.
> 
> i may end up adding a 5th/6th part to this if i can't wrap it up next chapter but im not sure yet. 
> 
> luckily i had this chapter mostly finished and saved on google docs so i can finish it up on this laptop but do not expect any other updates anytime soon as i wait for money to come in to fix my main one. this one is fine to work on when i can afford to be in one spot the whole day but i really would like to avoid that due to working from home and having to sit in one spot for 8 hours of the night. 
> 
> anyway hopefully i have money in soon and am able to get back into the swing of things. its been really hard to even try and write with my schedule being completely backwards atm and life is just kinda exhausting but it was nice to be able to write this part, no matter how tired i currently am atm 
> 
> comments are always welcomed and appreciated and hopefully i can be more active in replying to them.


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongin hates that he cares.

Jongin sighs as he flips through the limited television channels Kyungsoo has, looking over towards the kitchen where his aunt and Kyungsoo’s brother are talking. The elder got home a while ago and his aunt awkwardly had to tell him they were just supposed to drop off Kyungsoo’s homework, but she was worried and wanted to check on him. At least Seungsoo wasn’t weirded out about it.

He’s still sort of annoyed the teacher volunteered him to drop off Kyungsoo’s homework in the first place. He shouldn’t have let it slip that Kyungsoo was sick to his aunt, otherwise he wouldn’t be stuck on the couch when he could be doing literally _anything_ else. Even his homework.

He told Kyungsoo he would be there when he woke up though, and Jongin actually keeps his promises, so he deals. His arm feels sweaty and he hopes he doesn’t catch what Kyungsoo has, knowing the last thing he needs is to get sick. It’s not like he’s heavy though and it’s not like this is the first time Kyungsoo has fallen asleep holding his arm.

Although last time he’s sure it wasn’t intentional. Kyungsoo was just holding onto him arm and Jongin appreciated the gesture even though he won’t admit it out loud. Things always get a bit fuzzy during one of his _episodes_, and majority of the time he can’t even remember everything. Kyungsoo just sitting there next to him was enough to keep him grounded. When he saw the mark on the other male’s wrist, that made a lot of sense.

Jongin didn’t feel like his world shifted or anything dramatic that he’s used to hearing and reading about, but he did feel _something_. He’s not sure how to describe the feeling other than it was just a sudden realization that explained a lot. He doesn’t think he feels any different about Kyungsoo knowing he’s his soulmate, but then that would probably be a lie.

He wouldn’t be stuck with Kyungsoo sleeping on his arm if he didn’t know he was his soulmate. Kyungsoo _is_ his soulmate though and Jongin knows better than anyone about feeling completely and utterly alone. Empty. He just suppresses it and acts indifferent about everything, meanwhile Kyungsoo pretends the feeling doesn’t exist.

He gets it. So even if he has no real intention of letting Kyungsoo know he’s aware, he couldn't just leave him sitting there crying on the couch. He just can't. He doesn’t see the point in revealing anything though, especially not when Kyungsoo seems just as intent to pretend it’s not him. Hearing Kyungsoo say his soulmate wanted nothing to do with him, well, it wasn't exactly unfounded. Jongin doesn't want anything to do with him, but its not like he has much of a choice now that they've basically been sentenced to be near each other for the remainder of the year. All Jongin could do was tell him the obvious. He doesn't want to even think about what's going on in Kyungsoo's head regarding them being soulmates. 

It gives _him_ a headache just thinking about it, so he doesn’t. Instead he takes his phone out and intends to play candy crush, flinching when the game music starts blasting through his speaker. He goes wide eyed as Kyungsoo yelps and flinches awake, nearly falling off the couch and looking stupidly confused.

Jongin tries not to laugh, he really does, but he can’t help it. It’s _hilarious_ and he gets glared at as he laughs and lowers the volume to the game to a reasonable level, Kyungsoo _not_ looking happy.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo rasps out, looking red in the ears but Jongin isn’t sure if that’s from embarrassment or he has a fever.

“Not my fault you look like a dumb deer,” he replies easily, going back to his game before looking over at his aunt who is still talking with Kyungsoo’s brother.

“I’m going to cough on you,” Kyungsoo warns, making him turn and give him a glare.

“I’ll kick your sick ass off the couch,” he retaliates, scooting away from him and getting ready to actually shove him if need be.

“I’ll kick _your_ ass, sick or not,” Kyungsoo grumbles, sniffling a little before rubbing his eyes.

Without thinking Jongin reaches over and fixes a piece of his hair that’s sticking up, only realizing what he’s doing when its too late. Kyungsoo gives him a very confused look before he starts to sneeze and Jongin tries not to let his embarrassment show.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo mumbles quietly, clearing his throat before

Jongin ignores him and looks up when his Aunt asks if he’s ready to leave now. Jongin nods his head and bows politely to Kyungsoo’s brother, giving a half wave to Kyungsoo when his aunt tells him not to be rude. He ignores her and goes towards the door, slipping his shoes on and wincing when his aunt pinches his ear as soon as they’re out the door.

“Ow,” he whines, rubbing his ear as they head to the car and sulking as she scolds him before he can even buckle his belt.

“You should be nicer to him,” she scolds, starting to lecture him as they take off back home.

Jongin just nods his head.

\--

Jongin sits down on the cafeteria chair tiredly, setting his lunch tray down and immediately grabbing his chopsticks. It’s raining out so _everyone_ who usually eats outside are forced to be in the cafeteria, which makes the place louder than normal. He ignores the group of people that sit down near him, focusing on his food and looking around the place.

Kyungsoo is back today and sitting next to Byun Baekhyun and Oh Sehun at a table closer towards the cafeteria stage used for smaller assemblies. His nose still looks a little red and he doesn’t seem as perky as he usually does, but he doesn’t look as bad as he did when he dropped off his homework. He supposes he’s well enough to be back but Jongin thinks he should have stayed home, especially if its raining.

Jongin realizes he’s staring when he feels someone tap his leg with their foot, making him look across from where he’s sitting and trying not to frown. He ignores the smile the girl whose name he can’t be bothered to remember throws his way as she says something about the movies this weekend. She’s a first year and tries a little too hard when he’s made it as obvious as can be that he’s not the least bit interested.

“Don’t touch me,” he states plainly, moving his arm out of the way when she tries grabbing onto it and not feeling the least bit bad when she looks embarrassed.

He ignores her like he ignores all the random girls that are friends with Taemin and eats his lunch before getting up to put his tray away. He isn’t in the mood to deal with the noise of the cafeteria, so he decides to walk back to the classroom where there’s bound to be no one. He’s lucky enough that he’s right as he goes and sits at his desk, taking off his jacket and using it as a pillow.

He drifts off into a nap that he’s only woken up from by the bell, making him flinch awake. He blinks his eyes open tiredly as he sits up, rubbing his face as he hears people filing into the classroom. He looks up in time to spot Kyungsoo who seems to be stifling a laugh, making him frown. He realizes a little belatedly that Kyungsoo is trying not to laugh at _him_, reaching up and fixing his hair before kicking the shorter male’s leg when he sits down.

“Shut up,” he grumbles tiredly, trying to wake up enough before their teacher gets to the classroom.

“Did you not sleep well last night?” Kyungsoo questions, turning towards him and Jongin frowns further, eyeing the other male and then looking over at Seulgi and Sehun who are comparing answers from the assignment due today.

Jongin wonders if Kyungsoo even finished all the work he dropped off. There was a lot of it and although he gets about a couple of days to catch up, it’s still seven subjects. Jongin only missed one day and had enough trouble making sure the assigned pages were completed and turned in on time while juggling the additional work they get daily.

He _didn’t_ sleep well though, considering it had been raining majority of the night and Jongin isn’t a fan of the rain. He’s also been staying at his aunt’s house and while the guest room is comfortable, it’s also right next to a tree in the backyard that kept hitting the windows. He should probably suck it up and go back home, but he doesn’t have to guts to face his dad just yet.

“The rain kept me up,” he replies quietly, not knowing why he’s even bothering with small talk.

It’s not like anyone is paying attention to them though. Kyungsoo’s friends are distracted and Wonshik isn’t even back from Taemin’s smoke break in the restroom yet. The elder always uses his lunch period for it. Honestly Jongin isn’t sure why he hasn’t been caught yet. He’s glad he skipped out on it today though, the smell nauseates him more than anything.

“I hate the rain,” Kyungsoo mumbles before opening his notebook and grabbing a pen from his desk.

“Yeah,” he agrees before looking towards the door when Wonshik comes in.

He gives a slight nod in greeting before turning towards him when he starts talking about something stupid Taemin did. Jongin is glad to have missed out on it, knowing he wouldn’t have been able to tolerate the nonsense with the lack of sleep he’s running on. He stifles a yawn as he turns to face forward when the teacher comes in to start class.

The rest of the day goes by painstakingly slow and Jongin is really not in the mood to stay after school to clean, but he kind of has to. Kyungsoo honestly looks tired too and Jongin is tempted to ask if they can skip out on it today, but that means talking to Minyoung and that’s an automatic no for him.

He’s content to avoid his father and his new wife for as long as he can. Mostly because he really just can’t face the fact that he told his dad he wished he were _dead_. He doesn’t know how to apologize for something like that. Even if his aunt says he just needs to say sorry, he doesn’t think a simple sorry will cut it.

The rain still hasn’t let up by the time they’re done and Jongin is glad that his aunt has been picking him up, so he doesn’t have to worry about walking to the bus stop. He looks over at Kyungsoo and tries not to care that he doesn’t seem to have an umbrella, knowing he takes the bus home. He really wants to just turn and walk out the door and leave for the day but, Kyungsoo still looks semi sick and even though Jongin knows he’s an asshole for many reasons, he can’t just ignore his soulmate. Even if he really, really wants to.

“Do you want a ride?” he questions tiredly, trying very hard to be nonchalant about it, not wanting it to be a big deal.

Kyungsoo looks genuinely surprised at his question, before his brows furrow and he just looks confused. Jongin taps his foot impatiently when he doesn’t get an answer right away, not really sure if Kyungsoo’s ears were red before or he just noticed.

“If your aunt doesn’t mind,” Kyungsoo eventually replies, making him shrug.

“She won’t,” he says easily, knowing his aunt is probably going to be _thrilled_ about him asking in the first place.

She’s always telling him he should find friends who won’t get him into trouble and things like that. He’s not exactly friends with Kyungsoo though. More like acquaintances who just so happen to be emotionally intertwined, or however soulmates work. Not that he’s told her about that yet. He’s still debating whether or not he should tell her, not wanting her to be overbearing about it.

When they get to the minivan Jongin has to refrain from glaring at her when she gives him one of those embarrassing looks as she spots Kyungsoo. He gets into the front passenger side and sets his backpack near his feet as his aunt says hello to Kyungsoo who is politely asking her if it’s okay that she drop him off at his apartment.

“Of course, sweetie,” his aunt replies, making him roll his eyes as he puts on his seat belt and takes out his phone.

He ignores their chatting and plays his game, looking in the rear view mirror to see Kyungsoo smiling and nodding his head at something his aunt has said. It’s distracting and Jongin is more than horrified with himself when he thinks Kyungsoo looks cute with his nose still red. He immediately looks away and forces himself not to look up again for the remainder of the ride.

\--

The rest of the week goes by in a blur and before he knows it Friday comes and a member of their PTA shows up to class after lunch to talk about their annual school trip. Jongin mostly tunes them out, knowing it’s the same every year and there’s nothing much to pay attention to. He’ll hand the permission slip and informational packet to his dad next time he sees him and then won’t have to worry about it after that since he’ll take care of everything.

He supposes the _only_ good thing having the principal be married to your dad is that he knows ahead of time when things like this happen. Jongin doesn’t even bother opening up the packet and instead draws on the front of it out of boredom. The ten minutes it takes to talk about it is just downtime for the class before they start their next lesson.

Jongin only gets distracted when Kyungsoo starts chewing on his pen, because it’s annoying and gross. Almost as gross as his nail-biting habit but Jongin supposes a pen cap is better than fingernails with germs. He glances at the other male briefly and frowns a little as he makes a tiny noise before shoving the packet in his desk and continuing to chew on his pen.

He doesn’t get a chance to comment on it, the parent volunteer ending their little speech with a very annoying reminder to give the information to their parents and make sure they meet the deadlines to turn them back in.

He would love to say that the rest of the day went by uneventfully but that’s just not how his life works. Of course, their last teacher of the day decides they need to do more partnered work. Jongin immediately moves to turn to Wonshik but their teacher is just _that_ annoying and says she’ll be pairing them up.

“Everyone calm down,” Ms. Jung states plainly, earning several huffs from the more vocal kids in class.

Jongin supposes as long as he doesn’t get paired up with one of the girls from the front of the classroom, he should be fine with whoever he gets. If he ends up with one of the kids that thinks he’s worth admiring, he won’t have to work at all. Ms. Jung has a plastic container with all their names in it and starts to pull them out one by one. Jongin thinks she’s just bored shitless and wants to watch them all lose their minds.

“Sehun,” she reads out, reaching into the container for another name. “And Jongin,” she finishes, making his eye twitch.

“Ms. Jung, I demand a recall,” Sehun wails dramatically, making him turn to glare in his direction before glaring at Kyungsoo for laughing.

“This isn’t funny,” he states plainly, getting an annoying smile from Kyungsoo.

“I think it’s _hilarious_,” Kyungsoo replies with a small smile, looking up with wide eyes when his name gets called.

“Kyungsoo and Wonshik,” Ms. Jung says before moving onto the next two victims.

Jongin immediately frowns, looking over at Kyungsoo who is looking a little red in the face, which just makes him frown further. He looks over at Wonshik who just shrugs at him. When Ms. Jung tells them to move and sit next to their partner to work on their assignment Jongin gets a very annoying feeling as Wonshik gets up and Kyungsoo stares very intently at his paper with his ears turning bright red.

Jongin is only reminded of Kyungsoo’s very annoying question about Wonshik and it has him feeling really, really stupid. He feels stupid because he realizes he’s jealous, which is weird and dumb and _makes no sense_. Jongin really shouldn’t care that Kyungsoo apparently likes Wonshik, or something, but well, he’s supposed to be **_his_** soulmate. Kyungsoo knows damn well who his soulmate is too and yet.

“Dude, are you going to move?” Wonshik questions, giving him a confused look so Jongin glares at him, which earns him an even more confused look but he gets up nonetheless.

If he gets out his chair louder and shoves it towards his desk with more force than necessary, then so be it. He walks over and sits next to Sehun and glares at him too while he’s at it, not in the mood for any of this. He even sends a glare towards Ms. Jung when she hands them a paper, snatching it from her and ignoring Sehun asking which questions he wants to do.

“Fine, whatever, asshole,” Sehun mutters lowly before choosing to just work on the assignment himself.

Jongin doesn’t even bother, too annoyed with everything to attempt to focus on schoolwork. He turns around once to see what Kyungsoo and Wonshik are doing and just annoys himself more seeing them talking. He turns back around and looks over at Sehun when he actually attempts to talk to him again, like an idiot.

“Are you actually going to work or are you going to glare at everything instead?”

“Go to hell,” he states plainly, stealing a pencil from the other male’s desk before looking down at his paper.

“You’re a _great_ partner,” Sehun mutters sarcastically, continuing to complain about him not so quietly.

Jongin is all too happy when their next period starts and even happier when the final bell of the day rings. He would be happier if he didn’t have to stay after school and clean the stupid classroom, but he wants to continue to avoid Principal Park, so he doesn’t skip out even though it’s tempting.

He puts in his headphones and avoids having to interact with Kyungsoo, wanting to just avoid him for the rest of the school year at this point. Jongin doesn’t want a soulmate, not if it means feeling like shit over something so trivial, its stupid. He has enough problems to deal with he doesn't want a soulmate on top of it. He hates it. He really hates how he even cares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short update is better than no update at all so 🤷


End file.
